sporkopolis (sporkopolis) wrote,

haven't had one of these in a while...

How i love people who need me to help them with their very large sums of cash!
Dear Friend,

I am Mr.Carlos Delgado Executive Director of the La Caixa Bank Ltd, Spain. An Iraqi named Haider Hanoon,a business man made a numbered fixed deposit of (346,736,899.68 TWD) for 18 calendar months, this is valued to Fourty One million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars only in my branch. Upon maturity several notice was sent to him, even during the war, five years ago (2003). Again after the war another notification was sent and still no response came from him. We later found out that Haider Hanoon and his family had been killed during the war in Gunfire that hit their home at Mukaradeeb where his personal oil well was. After further investigation it was also discovered that Haider Hanoon did not declare any next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his bank deposit. And he also confided in me the last time we was at my office that no one except me knew of his deposit in my bank. So, Fourty One million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dol!
lars is still lying in my bank and

My proposal, I am prepared to place you as the next of kin in a position to instruct LA CAIXA BANK to release the deposit to you as the closest surviving relation. Upon receipt of the deposit, I am prepared to share the money with you in a favorable percentage. That is: I will simply nominate you as the next of kin and have them release the deposit to you. We share the percentage 70/30. I would have gone ahead to ask the funds be released to me, but that would have drawn a straight line in my involvement in claiming the deposit. I assure you that I could have the deposit released to you within a few days. I will simply inform the bank of the final closing of the file relating to Haider Hanoon I will then officially communicate with my Bank and instruct them to release the deposit to you. With these: all is done. I am aware of the consequences of this proposal. I ask that if you find no interest in this project that you should discard this mail. I ask that you do not!
be vindictive and destructive. I

If you give me positive signals, I will initiate this process towards a conclusion. I wish to inform you that should you contact me via official channels; I will deny knowing you and about this project. I repeat, I do not want you contacting me through my official phone lines nor do I want you contacting me through my official email account. Contact me only through the numbers I will provide for you and also through the email account that i will provide therein in this email. Further more be informed that the fact that you are a foreigner give you the privilege to stand in as my deceased client beneficiary as my deceased client had no relation all his family died with him during the war and I can not use my relation because its not accepted here in Spain. Also I am very confident that we will be able to establish the trust that is needed to complete this deal and all that I need from the time been is your willingness and commitment so that we can end this in the ne!
xt one weeks. What you need to

Like I said before there is no risk involve as it will pass through international banking laws and all documents related to this transaction will be sent to you by post for your perusal and trust. I do not want any direct link between you and me. My official lines are not secure lines as they are periodically monitored to assess our level of customer care in line with our Total Quality Management Policy. Please observe this instruction religiously. Please, again, note I am a family man, I have wife and children. I send you this mail not without a measure of fear as to what the consequences, but I know within me that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come easy or on a platter of gold. This is the one truth I have learned from my private banking clients. Do not betray my confidence. If we can be of one accord, we should plan a meeting, soon. Should you be interested I will prefer you to send me your FULL NAMES,ADDRESS,OCCUPATIO!
N AND PHONE NUMBER. on the email

Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated. I await your response.

Mr.Carlos Alberto DELGADO

So I replied!!!!!

My dear friend Mr Carlos Delgato Executive:

I am all about being of one accord. That sounds like my kind of business and it brings me great pleasure to know that I can assist in your noble deeds. To expedite your requests, I shall simply comply with your request for information by listing what you requested:

Name: Horatio Urushiol DeLuca
Address: 3791 State Route 63, Lebanon, Ohio 45036
Phone: (513) 932-1211
Occupation: Agriculture Executive

Alas, his email was alrady banned. :(
I was really hoping he'd call the prison. The prisoners there get to help livestock!
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